The Art of Letting Go

I've been angry. This world has taken from me, tested me, and chipped me down piece by piece, until there was nothing left to give. So, I've been angry. Angry at the world that weathered my innocence, angry at the people that stripped me of my hope, my tender-heartedness, and my compassionate resolve (amongst other things). Most of all, I've been angry at myself. Angry at myself for giving this world permission to beat me down, for allowing those people to take advantage of me, and for not being able to master the art of letting go. Because that's what it is: an art.

I've spent the better half of this year struggling to hone this skill and I've failed time and time again. In reality, I didn't want to let go - at least, not really. I've spent the past couple of years in this dark place distinguished by damp pillowcases, sleepless nights, and crippling anxiety. Letting go meant letting go of this heaviness and this hurt that I've grown all too accustomed to. I've stayed in this place so long, succumbed to its warm embrace of familiarity, and called it my home.

This is not home. Home is meant to be a place of security, but I've been choosing to stay in this place of anger. I've been choosing to hold on to this bitterness, this pain, this perpetual state of hurt.

I couldn't control most of the situations that I've been through these past couple of years. I couldn't control the actions of those who've hurt me. I couldn't control the tragic circumstances that I fell victim to. I didn't have control then, but what I do have now is a choice.

Today, I am choosing to let go. I am choosing to forgive those who have hurt me, I am choosing to stop focusing on the things I cannot change, and I am choosing to free myself from this anger and frustration. I've overstayed my visit in this dark place and now it is time to move on to better things. No longer will I be bound by negative self-talk, no longer will I punish myself for the damage I've experienced, no longer will I continue to give power to those who robbed me of my own.

Today, I choose to heal.

♡♡♡

With all of that being said, welcome to my blog! This blog is meant to be a record of my journey towards healing. Its purpose is to serve as a place where I can dump all of my thoughts that are guaranteed to be messy and all over the place and way too emotional (regardless if anyone ever reads them). So, if you're into that kind of thing and you're interested in coming along with me on this very bumpy, probably dysfunctional ride, you are welcome to stay.